Teen Phone Use: What Actually Matters (And What Doesn't)
How teenagers use their phones matters more than how long they use them. That was the message driven home by Dr. Jill Walsh, a sociologist and researcher at Boston University, to KUA parents at Family Weekend.
In her presentation, "Helping Our Children Navigate Digital Technology," Walsh shared her experience helping design and implement cellphone policies in Massachusetts public schools and educating families on positive technology use. Her message was that since teenagers have not fully developed executive functioning and emotional regulation skills, they are often entrusted with devices they aren't yet developmentally ready to handle.
"The idea that they can figure it out on their own or that they're digital experts doesn't hold up," Walsh said of adolescents. "They're experts on the technology, but not on what they're seeing on it, and that's where they need our support."
She said many of the challenges teenagers face in the digital realm mirror those of offline life, such as navigating disagreements among friends or being left out of a group chat. Walsh said that while it's important to set firm ground rules around content depicting violence or pornography, adolescents are typically inclined to seek guidance when something feels uncomfortable or seems off.
"They're experts on the tech, but you have the perspective of life," Walsh told families, reminding them to talk with their children early and often about potential digital challenges. "That's what they want to talk to us about. That's where, believe it or not, they really want our help."
Walsh added that families can sometimes get hung up on concrete data such as screen time, citing the longstanding American Academy of Pediatrics recommendation that young children do not exceed two hours of screen time per day. While recommendations change with age, Walsh urged parents to be aware of the difference between algorithm-driven rabbit holes (autoplay videos or content recommended by social media platforms) versus tutorials or other educational content.
Walsh said the biggest problems arise when individuals use digital technology to manage negative emotions, allowing their phones to become "digital pacifiers" when bored, tired, overwhelmed or stressed. She urged families to be cognizant of when teenagers are simply communicating with friends versus "doomscrolling" as emotional regulation, and to encourage non-tech alternatives, such as drawing or physical activity, when faced with the latter.
Time spent connecting with friends, she said, simply comes with the territory.
"Most kids aren't addicted to their phone. They're addicted to their friends," Walsh said. "It's developmentally appropriate to be addicted to your friends. I spent the whole '90s on the phone, and my parents spent every night yelling at me about how much time I was wasting. The format is different, but the human instinct is similar."
Walsh ended her presentation on a positive note, citing a string of recent court rulings that have her hopeful that legislation will soon prohibit social media companies from using practices proven to be addictive, often with harmful consequences, to adolescents.
"The pendulum is shifting in how people talk and think about this," Walsh said. "It's been called our 'big tobacco moment.' I don't know if it's that or just us trying to make ourselves feel better, but I think the next 12 to 18 months will bring some really interesting changes."
Tong Meltzer, Director of Wellness and Counseling Services at KUA, said she was inspired to bring Walsh to campus after hearing her speak at a conference over the summer. Meltzer said the presentation was especially relevant for families this year, given the school’s implementation of its academic day cellphone policy.
“I think it's important that we look beyond simply putting phones away and focus on helping students build a healthy relationship with technology,” Meltzer said. “I hope her presentation gave families a fresh perspective and practical tools to have open, honest and positive conversations with their students about digital wellbeing — ideally with fewer eye rolls and more genuine dialogue. We want to work together with the students and families to better support our students' wellbeing, both online and offline.”